Hinata’s ceiling. He appreciated it. It never changed. It never changed colour or shape or size or substance. The ceiling – just – was. The ceiling didn’t tell him to call it Toru and then blank him for five days. The ceiling also never treated him badly until the window was being kinder, and then realising that the ceiling was losing to the window, decided to try and get close to Hinata.

Hinata’s heart made no sense to him. Even though Oikawa had disappeared off the face of the planet, he trusted him more than the persistent first-year setter whose sudden interest he still didn’t fully believe. And even though every fibre of his being came alive at the thought of Oikawa, Hinata could not deny the emotions that had pulsed through him from Kageyama’s kiss and touch; he did not want to admit it but what the blueberry had said was true – it felt right. It felt different from when he was with Oikawa but it wasn’t by any means weird. It had felt organic. Natural. Like their dynamic was always headed in this direction anyway.

You want to date him.

Hinata closed his eyes and sighed. Did he still want to date Oikawa? He was mad, sad, angry, frustrated, confused, annoyed, terrified – every negative emotion under the sun seemed to have sprouted in the middle blocker throughout the course of the week. He knew he shouldn’t make assumptions: Iwaizumi hadn’t got back to him about Oikawa; for all he knew there was a family emergency. Maybe Oikawa wasn’t even in Sendai right now.

Or maybe he was in the arms of someone else.

Hinata could stab something from the thought.

So is he, like, using you like a toy?

Hinata rubbed his eyes. That age old question came back to him, the one that he had had, even during the blackout: what am I to Oikawa?

Was he a toy? No. No, he knew he wasn’t. Oikawa had taken a punch for Hinata from his own best friend. The captain had almost crossed under the net at the sight of another setter putting his arm around Hinata. Oikawa had moved at snail-pace speed in anything sexual; if Hinata was a toy to him, surely, Oikawa would’ve done what he wanted by now without any consideration for how the spiker felt. So no. That question he had an answer to.

Are you in love with him?

Hinata opened his eyes and stared at the trusted ceiling.

‘No,’ he said.

No. No, he wasn’t in love with Oikawa. Love wasn’t supposed to feel like this, right? Love didn’t feel… bad. Or sad. Or make you hurt. If he was in love with Oikawa he would feel happy – that was what love meant, right? But Hinata cast his mind around. The truth was, he didn’t really know because… he’d never been in love before. So when he was in love, how was he supposed to know?

From what he had gathered from books and movies, love was this amazing thing that filled your heart with joy all the time. Sure joy was a component of how he felt while he was around Oikawa. But he also felt… insecure. Uncertain. Like he never really knew what the setter was thinking. Shortchanged, somehow. Like he’d been giving everything he had wholeheartedly to Oikawa but he could sense that from the upperclassman that there was still some reserve.

And if it wasn’t love then what did he feel for Oikawa? If he could have Oikawa appear right here in his room, he would. He wanted to see Oikawa, to be around him, to feel him, touch him. What was this? Even after all the pain and anguish from the setter’s absence, if Oikawa was here on this bed, Hinata would still ask the setter to hold him. The feel of Oikawa’s hair in his fingers, the power of his unyielding  gaze, his active consideration and care – all these things made Hinata’s heart yearn so badly. He wanted to hear Oikawa’s voice, to see him smile, to smell his scent, to touch his skin…

Hinata didn’t know. The more he thought the more questions he had instead of answers.

He lifted himself up off the bed.

But he knew exactly where to go, to get some answers.

Hinata swallowed, hard, his heart pounding in his chest. He waited. If the door didn’t open then he would –

But it did. Slowly. Instantly, Hinata knew – there’s something wrong with him.

Oikawa’s hair was a mess, he held one side of the door frame to steady himself and he clutched his stomach with his other hand. He was as white as a ghost. He winced and heaved his gaze up. Oikawa’s eyes grew to the size of two volleyballs. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over him.

There, not on his doorstep but on the street, was that cute fluffy orange thing that unknowingly carried around Oikawa’s heart, in black shorts and a burgundy t-shirt. But the most startling thing about the crow was not even that he was here; it was his facial expression. Not as furious as the time he shouted at Iwa-chan but not far from it either, it was clear to Oikawa that the bird was mad. Very, very mad.

‘Can I come in?’ Hinata asked.

Yes. Even his voice was tainted with anger.

‘Of course,’ Oikawa replied.

Hinata dug his thumbnails into the skin of his index fingers. Yes, his emotions were going to overtake him any moment now. Yes, he had had to fight absolutely everything within him not to run to the setter the moment he’d opened the door looking worse for wear. Yes, he was worried because Oikawa looked unwell. But – Oikawa was clearly still able to call or text or respond. And his ‘of course’ to Hinata asking to come in doubled Hinata’s anger: Oikawa was acting with the same familiarity, as if it was a given that Hinata was welcome despite the setter having given him the cold shoulder for the entire week.

Hinata marched forward and Oikawa dragged himself through his home like a zombie. What was wrong with him? No. Hinata was not going to go easy on the cobra. Silently, the crow took off his trainers and closed the door. He heard the tap run. When he walked into Oikawa’s apartment the captain was leaning on the kitchen island, downing a glass of water. Automatically, Hinata’s eyes latched onto the bobbing of Oikawa’s Adam’s apple in the setter’s neck; the spiker cursed himself internally for finding the most stupidly ordinary things attractive.

Oikawa put the glass down on the kitchen island. Their eyes met. Hinata’s heart tugged at his body, urging him to run, jump onto the setter like always. But his mind made him dig his heels into the floor.

‘Are you sick?’

The shorty could not control the harshness in his voice.

‘I’m… just hungover. I drank too much last night.’

There it was: one of his mind’s favourite horror movies. A classic. One he had played at least a dozen times. Oikawa drunk somewhere with a pretty girl, having somehow got access to a bar or a friend of a friend who sold alcohol. Oikawa undressing her. The girl undressing him. Both of them –

Hinata was sweating. The anxiety punched through him so hard he felt like he could taste blood. The accumulation of every sordid thought, every worry, every intrusive unwanted imagining, every insecurity, every feeling of abandonment, hunger, rejection, pain, that gaping hole, that sucking void, the weight of the mystery of the silence, finally erupted  –

‘Are you seeing someone else?!’

Hinata clenched his fists. He hadn’t intended to ask so loud but he’d basically yelled.

Oikawa blinked but his facial expression didn’t change. He peered at the little crow.

‘I drank at Iwa’s,’ Oikawa explained.

‘Are you seeing Iwaizumi?’

Complete and utter shock took over Oikawa’s face. It took a moment for Oikawa to realise that Hinata was deadly serious.

‘I don’t think his girlfriend would be very happy about that. Besides…’ The cobra surveyed the bird. ‘He’s not my type. I like orange hair and brown eyes.’

Hinata tried with all his might not blush but still felt the heat in his cheeks. The way Oikawa was looking at him – No. He was not going to be charmed or seduced. Not today.

‘Did you… did you talk about me?’ Hinata ploughed onward.

‘We did.’

‘Were you laughing at me?’

Oikawa frowned and stared at Hinata. ‘Chibi-chan…’ he said softly, ‘No. Why would we laugh at you? We were in awe of you, actually. Iwa told me what you did and I’ve been… moved by you ever since. Well. I’m usually pretty moved by you anyway.’

Hinata inhaled through his nose. It was cruel, the way just a few words could have such a physical impact on Hinata’s heart.

‘Chibi-chan -’

‘Are you – are you bored of me?’

Oikawa felt the pain in the question. He stared at Hinata with sadness in his eyes. He closed them. 

What have I done? Toru, you fucking fool.

‘Is there someone else? Or other people you want to spend more time with?’

Oikawa opened his eyes. Hinata’s stance was determined, resolute in getting an answer, his face creased in anger, his eyes full of hurt.

‘I know I’m not – I’m not good enough for you, and that there are plenty of other people more attractive than me -’

In three strides, Oikawa was on the other side of his kitchen island but Hinata had jumped back towards the sofa, a hand held out in defence. Hinata breathed heavily. He saw the sorrow in Oikawa’s eyes, knew that the setter had intended to hold him. But Hinata knew that under no circumstances could Oikawa touch him until he got answers; his resolve would break, he’d forgive anything. He’d cave under the slightest caress, melt under the pressure of those lips, surrender into an embrace. It would be cheating. Game over.

‘But it’s – IT’S NOT OK!’

There they were. Those treacherous tears. Hinata had told himself he would not cry but he felt the floodgates open and there was no going back.

‘I don’t understand – were you just leading me on this whole time? Do you not like me at all? I don’t understand why you went completely silent on me – for the whole entire week you’ve been ignoring me since Monday even though, even though last time I was here you told me to call you by your first name and then you’ve been avoiding me ever since – you could’ve said something if you didn’t like me anymore or you changed your mind or if you were sick or something had happened. But you said nothing so I have no idea what you’re thinking – and even when we’re together, most of the time, I can never tell what you’re thinking, I don’t know what you think about me, and I always feel like you’re holding something back even though I try, I try to be so honest in how I feel about you!’

Hinata wiped his tears away but more kept coming. ‘Every single day  this week I’ve asked myself why, I’ve worried that something happened to your hands again, or to your family, and that maybe you couldn’t use a phone – or that you met a girl and you’ve been meeting loads of girls or guys and – and you’ve just thrown me away without a word, and that nothing we shared was real – and I know, I know you don’t owe me anything Oikawa-san because we, we’re not, I don’t know what we are but –  after everything we’ve been through together I hoped you would treat me better and I’m – I’m really angry and upset with you!’

Hinata fell to his knees, sobbing, his face in his hands.

Oikawa was going to take a knife and cut himself, then punch himself and kick himself if possible. But before he did that, it took universal strength to not rush to, and comfort, the crying crow. He wanted to give Hinata warmth and reassurance, to slay those lies in one movement. Oikawa intentionally plunged his fingernails into his scarred hands to feel some pain. Good. He hoped he bled.

Oikawa wondered why he was like this. Why did he ruin any good thing that came his way?

Oikawa lowered himself onto the floor by one of the high stools. In front of the sofa, Hinata wept.

‘Y-you know,’ Hinata stammered, wiping his tears with an arm, ‘how much I like you and that it would hurt me not to hear from you – and you’re so hard to read I don’t know what you’re thinking behind all of this. Even right now, I have no idea. So it seems like, like you wanted to hurt me.’

Oikawa closed his eyes and blew out air.

Nope. Fuck Tobio. You are far worse than him.

Oikawa opened his eyes again. The spiker was staring at him, tears streaming down that beautiful face. So badly did Oikawa want to crawl over and hold him. But all he could do for now –

He looked Hinata directly in his eyes. ‘I never intended to hurt you.  I have never and will never intend to hurt you. I didn’t realise, I mean I – miscalculated how much my unresponsiveness would affect you.  But I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was trying to protect myself.’

Oikawa took a deep breath. Hinata frowned, trying to understand what Oikawa meant.

‘To answer all your questions… I’m not seeing anyone else. I haven’t been spending time with any girls or guys in a romantic way. I’m not,’  Oikawa could not even believe Hinata had thought of the word, ‘bored of you. In fact the opposite is true. If I could spend every waking moment with you then I would.’

Hinata’s glossy eyes grew wide and his ears went pink. He stared at the setter and found no jest; Oikawa was being one hundred percent serious.

‘You have every right to be mad at me and I’m – I’m sorry, chibi-chan.’

‘But, then, why?’

The moment was here. Oikawa had dreaded it from the beginning but knew that one day it would surely come. He braced himself and hoped that Iwa was right.

It was time for Hinata to turn around and face the spider.

‘Why did I go quiet on you? Because,’ Oikawa watched the crow, ‘of how you feel about Kageyama.’

Shock. Yes. That was expected. Raised eyebrows and mouth agape. It was clearly the furthest thing from the middle blocker’s mind. And then –

Understanding.

Not a frown, not confusion. So. Finally. Finally. He was aware.

‘And how Kageyama feels about you,’ Oikawa added.

This time Hinata looked even more taken aback. His cheeks flushed. But again, no denial. Last time last week it was just a hug –

Something must’ve happened, Oikawa thought, and a snake stirred in his stomach.

Hinata stared at Oikawa in fascination. ‘How did you -?’

‘Did something happen between you this week?’

Hinata’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink and his eyes and face told all. Oikawa lent forward across the floor on his hands like a panther, his face as steely as a sword.

‘Tell me.’

‘He kissed me.’

Hinata jolted back in surprise; Oikawa was on his feet, his forearms raised, his fists clenched as if he was about to throw fireballs. Oikawa stared at a spot on the floor, breathing deeply through his nose. Water. Cold water would calm him down. But even as Oikawa strode over to the island, snatched up the empty glass and shoved it under the tap his mind played the scene – Kageyama kissing Hinata –

Clatter.

Hinata watched as Oikawa gripped both sides of the sink, his back tense. Oikawa tried again. He filled the glass halfway and, turning to face Hinata, drank it down. No. Water didn’t help. He placed the glass back on the kitchen island.

Oikawa didn’t want to know but he had to.

‘What else?’

‘He… made me touch him -’

SMASH!

The glass was killed. It had hit the kitchen wall to the right of Oikawa, smashing into a thousand pieces like the chandelier at the cafe.

Oikawa panted, unable to contain himself, as he stared at the wall, fury etched onto his face.

Hinata’s heart pounded. But not from fear.

‘Then?’ Oikawa breathed, ready to destroy.

Some outrageous part of Hinata wondered… what would happen if he lied? The more he told, the more of a beautiful reaction he’d get out of the setter. He wanted this. He wanted to see it. Oikawa’s heart, Oikawa’s mind, the biggest mysteries to him of all finally being uncovered. But. To intentionally hurt Oikawa, when Oikawa hadn’t intended to hurt him… To hurt Oikawa, even with all the pain Hinata had contained for a week… he couldn’t do it. The satisfaction of seeing a reaction did not outweigh the pain of causing deliberate hurt.

‘And then I stopped him. Nothing else happened.’

Oikawa closed his eyes and clutched his forehead. He breathed loudly, trying to steady himself. When he felt like he’d slightly regained composure, he turned to Hinata. And for the first time, Hinata saw glorious rage on that magnificent face.

He should clean up the glass. Oikawa knew this. But –

‘Why did you stop him?’ Oikawa asked.

‘Why haven’t you contacted me all week?’

Oikawa wanted to move closer. He couldn’t talk to Hinata all the way from the kitchen area – but he was barefoot. One step forward and he’d be stepping into broken glass.

No wait.

This was a good thing.

Oikawa took a step and winced as he felt the glass embed itself into him –

‘Oikawa -?!’

Hinata had jumped up, realising.

‘Stay right where you are, Shoyo,’ Oikawa commanded, holding a hand out. Oikawa saw the concern in the crow’s eyes. ‘I’ve already hurt you way too much as it is. Whereas I… deserve this.’

Oikawa walked through glass then fetched the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed the whole area. He wasn’t satisfied with the pain; it was nothing compared to the crystal shards of the chandelier; the glass that had shattered here was too small. He dusted his feet off too easily and saw some blood but not enough.

After he placed the vacuum cleaner back, he returned to find the most adorable thing on the planet still on his feet by the sofa, staring up at him with wide, sore eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The little nugget looked so worried and shaken.

‘Your feet – are they OK?’

Oikawa couldn’t hold it in any longer. They were two metres too far apart.

‘Can I hold you?’ Oikawa whispered. ‘Before I explain everything.’

The restraints holding Hinata’s heart bucked from the force. He stared at Oikawa. Damn it. This was the first time Oikawa had ever asked him that. He hesitated. Oikawa waited. Hinata knew he wouldn’t push.

‘Promise you’ll tell me everything.’

‘I promise,’ Oikawa said, his eyes sincere.

‘Everything.’

‘Everything.’

‘No holding back.’

Oikawa swallowed and nodded. ‘No holding back.’

Oikawa took a step forward and felt barely a prickle of pain. Hinata’s heart thundered like the makings of a storm. Oikawa approached –  the leash containing Hinata’s heart snapped – and hugged the crow –

For the third time within twenty four hours Hinata began to cry. Here was his safe place, his escape – this body, this warmth, this scent. Somehow, without realising, he’d become dependent on it. This, and everything it encapsulated, Oikawa’s spirit, his soul, his personality, had been withheld from him and now that it was back Hinata felt the gaping void within him fill and vanish. He loved this but hated it – how could one person have this much effect on him?

Hinata gripped the front of Oikawa’s t-shirt, his claws pulling at the fabric so hard he almost pierced it, as his forehead lent against the setter’s chest as he wept.

‘I’m so sorry chibi-chan,’ Oikawa whispered above him and Hinata could hear the remorse in Oikawa’s voice.

A hand began tenderly stroking his hair and this made Hinata cry even more.

Relief, exhaustion, comfort and release – it was all here. The tears weren’t just from pain anymore.

Oikawa hoisted the crow up and walked to the left side of the sofa. He sat down by the arm with Hinata against him. Hinata still clutched the setter’s t-shirt, his head rested against the top-right side of that comfortable chest, and the tears continued to spill.

Oikawa ran his fingers gently through Hinata’s hair and stroked the spiker’s ear. Regardless of all of Hinata’s outpouring, he felt his body stir to the sensation of Oikawa’s touch involuntarily, a knee-jerk reaction.

‘This is all my fault,’ Oikawa whispered, ‘and I take full responsibility for hurting you. I… shouldn’t have left you in the dark like that but you see, from where I stood… there was no other way.’

Hinata moved back, his back hitting the arm of the couch, and he looked up at Oikawa’s face. The setter’s eyes were open, serious.

‘I had to let you go. I had to let you fly. To see… if you would come back to me. I was… scared, chibi-chan. Scared to lose you. I still am,’  Oikawa gulped.

Hinata stared at his pillar of strength. Oikawa… scared?

‘But I don’t understand,’ Hinata tried to process this information, ‘Then why push me away?’

Oikawa closed his eyes and frowned. ‘It was… starting to hurt. It started to scare me.’ He opened his eyes and looked at the spiker.

‘What did?’

‘Being around you.’

Hinata peered at that splendid face, confused. Oikawa rested one of his hands over Hinata’s that was clutching his shirt, and pushed it against his heart.

‘Right here,’ Oikawa whispered, ‘every time you mentioned Kageyama.’

Hinata gawped in disbelief. Every time I… mentioned Kageyama?

‘I don’t even think you realised it but you were talking about him more and more… and he was clearly trying more and more ways to win you back. What you just said happened,’ disgust fleetingly crossed Oikawa’s face, ‘proves I was right. And every time you went quiet, or your mind wandered and I asked you what you were thinking, it was always about him. And every time I heard that name,’ Oikawa murmured, his voice like the leather sling of a gun, he stared deeply into Hinata’s eyes, ‘it killed me inside. You were liking each other more and more and I couldn’t, I still can’t, do anything about it. You see I,’ Oikawa  stroked Hinata’s damp cheek with the curve of his index finger, ‘like being in control of things. But I hate it because this is completely out of my control. Do you remember a while back – it feels like a century ago now – I said I wished you were at Aoba Johsai?’

Hinata meekly nodded.

‘Do you understand why?’ Oikawa asked.

Hinata shook his head. ‘No.’

Oikawa sighed. Perhaps he was too cryptic for his own good. Perhaps his mask fit too perfectly that any skin peeking through was still unidentifiable.

‘It’s so that I could get to see you every day,’ Oikawa whispered, his eyes glistening like jewels, ‘I could see you at break, at lunch,  after school. I could make excuses to see you all the time and it would  be acceptable. You’d be on my team. I’d be your setter. Your quick attack would be mine. I’d be the only one you’d practice with. Not Kageyama.’

Hinata could not believe his ears. Oikawa’s words were more powerful than an antidote to cure him of his ailments caused by the week; it was like a tonic that gave him super human strength. But –

‘You said that… weeks ago. That was almost two months ago. We’d barely hung out back then -’

Oikawa nodded slowly, as Hinata searched those eyes.

‘That means you -’ Hinata stared. ‘Liked me. That much. Even… back then.’

Slower, Oikawa nodded, his eyes fearful, earnest. ‘The more you spoke about Kageyama, the more I couldn’t handle it. It felt like a dagger in my chest even though you weren’t intending it to. I figured it was best to let you realise how you felt about him, if he was what you wanted. Even though… it kills me to think of you together.’

Hinata felt like he was floating, high in the sky, above the clouds. His heart was drenched in gold. And his thoughts roamed free like wild horses on a mountainside. There was no pain, no anxiety, no worry or fear or jealousy. What horror movies? What ghouls or demons in his mind? This space was pure, white, like a dream. All this time, Hinata thought, staring at the setter, I  was worried that he was with someone else. When I was the one with  someone else. I was the one hurting him. I was hurting Oikawa.

Oikawa. Still. The name ballooned Hinata’s heart so much inside of him he could choke. This setter beneath him, made Hinata’s heart pound like no one else could and there was still, as Hinata thought on the day of the practice match, not another person more beautiful in the entire world than Toru Oikawa. And yet unwilling, unknowingly, Hinata had hurt him so much that the setter had had to withdraw…

Hinata’s eyes brimmed afresh.

‘Do you really,’ Hinata whispered, hopeful, ‘like me that much?’

A single tear escape Hinata’s eye. Oikawa gently brushed it away.

‘Do you not know,’ Oikawa whispered back, ‘how much I like you?’

Hinata shook his head.

‘Well chibi-chan. You’re my saviour. You saved my life, remember? I liked you since then. But. After that. I’ve liked you more and more and more so much that I feel like my heart might burst. I’m at the mercy of your precious hands and your wonderful heart. So please be careful with me.’

Whose heart might burst? Because Hinata was pretty sure that his was about to. Hinata lent forward and kissed Oikawa. The setter hungrily kissed him back, automatically wrapping his arms around Hinata, and Hinata wrapped his arms around Oikawa’s neck. The kiss, for Hinata, was the best they’d ever shared. Finally. After all this time. He felt like he could see clearly Oikawa’s feelings for him. The scales had fallen from Hinata’s eyes and the sight was picturesque.

Hinata pressed hard against Oikawa’s lips, leading the kiss and the setter obliged. He gripped Oikawa’s hair like he was holding onto life. Hinata didn’t want to stop. He kept kissing and kissing and kissing Oikawa, gratitude, relief, happiness flowing through him so much that it seeped out of his pores.

Hinata broke away but only so that his hands could hold his favourite face and the two of them stared into each other’s eyes.

‘You like me,’ Hinata breathed.

‘I do,’ Oikawa whispered.

‘As much as I like you.’

‘If not more.’

Hinata couldn’t help himself; he kissed Oikawa again more passionately than he’d ever done before and Oikawa felt it all. Oikawa felt the difference, he felt the freedom and he too felt free – yes, he was terrified; never in his life had he ever been this direct, this upfront, this vulnerable with someone – but for the first time in his life it felt worth it. Oikawa held Hinata tighter as he kissed the spiker back.

‘But there’s something I’d like to know,’ Oikawa said, reluctantly withdrawing from the inflamed Hinata.

The little bird nodded in complete submission.

‘You said you stopped anything more happening between you and Kageyama. Why?’

Oikawa had an inkling but he needed to hear it.

Hinata swooped and kissed under Oikawa’s jaw before resurfacing and locking eyes with the setter.

‘Because of you, of course,’ Hinata whispered. ‘The whole time, you were on my mind. And I felt like I’d betray you if I’d done anything more. Even though, this whole week, I thought you’d betrayed me -’

Oikawa pulled Hinata to him and kissed the spiker with every bit of ardour and thankfulness that he could get across through his lips. A torrent of gratitude and relief washed over Oikawa like a mighty roaring river, powerful, fresh, cooling. And because, he realised, he hadn’t vocalised things enough, and needed to more, when he let go he said –

‘You have no idea how happy that makes me,’ Oikawa breathed onto Hinata’s lips. ‘Thank you for staying faithful to me even when you didn’t have to. I honestly think I’m the happiest person in the universe right now.’

‘Then that makes two of us -’

They couldn’t stop kissing. Hinata had done for Oikawa what Oikawa had done for him; all of Oikawa’s quaking insecurities in the face of his first-year nemesis evaporated. Kage-who? Hinata could’ve done what he liked. He was not tethered to Oikawa. But still. As the little crow had said, even amidst all his fears and nightmares of Oikawa frolicking around with guys and girls, he still hadn’t done the same. Hinata had looked the spider in the face and hadn’t given it what it wanted.

Moments, seconds, minutes, hours – Hinata didn’t know – later, he pulled away, wanting to address something that had been bothering him.

‘You were wrong, by the way,’ Hinata mumbled, planting a quick kiss on Oikawa’s cheek.

‘About what?’

‘You said every time I was distant or lost in thought I was thinking about Kageyama.’

‘You weren’t?’

‘No.’

‘But every time I asked you -’

‘I was thinking about something else. I only brought him up to change the subject so you’d stop asking.’

‘So what were you thinking about?’

Hinata happily yielded into that cobra stare.

‘You,’ Hinata smiled sheepishly, ‘I was always, am always, thinking about you. I told you before - remember? - that every day, all the time, during class -’

His words were swallowed by Oikawa’s lips. The setter had leaned forward, pressing Hinata against the arm of the sofa. He placed a hand delicately on Hinata’s chest, where the mark he left lived.

‘So like that day at the fair -?’

Oikawa watched Hinata turn bright pink.

‘What?’ Oikawa asked. ‘You were really quiet and evasive that day. Why are you blushing?’

Hinata ducked and nuzzled his face into Oikawa’s neck, sending a tingle down the setter’s spine. Oikawa wrapped his arms tighter around the crow and jiggled him.

‘Hmmm? Chibi-chan?’

Hinata made a strangling noise. Oikawa laughed.

‘So we’re going to bare our souls save one thing?’

Hinata emerged, red and flustered, eyes and cheeks red from crying. Hinata murmured something but Oikawa didn’t catch it.

‘What was that?’

‘You asked me if I wanted something from you.’

Oikawa cast his mind back.

‘To wager,’ Hinata muttered, ‘for the match.’

‘Ah, yes. And then you went even more quiet,’ Oikawa chuckled. ‘Go on then. What was it? You know I still owe you ninety five kisses.’

Hinata stared at the setter. He suddenly looked determined, bold.

‘A relationship.’

Oikawa felt his heart ride down several cascading waterfalls before landing in a blue lagoon. He stared back at the spiker whose gaze was earnest, intense.

‘What?’ Oikawa breathed, unable to believe his ears.

‘I want a relationship with you.’

Oikawa was so stunned, so overjoyed, in so much disbelief, he couldn’t even move to kiss the middle blocker for the hundredth time. Hinata saw the astonishment on the setter’s face but he was not backing down.

‘Let's do it,’ Hinata pressed. ‘Be official. Dating. Whatever you want to call it. Just you and me.’

Oikawa closed his eyes. Usually if things were too good to be true then they were. While his eyes were still closed as he thought, Oikawa felt those cute lips press against his, and couldn’t help but smile. When he opened his eyes again the bird still had that resolute expression on his face.

Hinata placed a hand on Oikawa’s neck.

‘Toru,’ he said, ‘you said you marked me and made me yours. So. Be mine. Say yes.’

It was such stuff that dreams were made of. The setter wanted to agree in less than a heartbeat. But Oikawa knew he was a worrier and a realist; Hinata was two years younger and his recklessness would not account for consequences.

‘Why aren’t you saying anything?’

‘Listen to me, chibi-chan,’ Oikawa stroked that beautiful ginger hair, ‘you need to think about this -’

‘I’ve thought about it. And I want to -’

‘Please,’ Oikawa begged, ‘I can’t risk losing you on impulse.’

Hinata exhaled. He straightened his back against the arm of the couch, perpendicular to Oikawa’s, stretched out his legs across Oikawa’s lap and onto the sofa, and picked up the setter’s hands, holding them in his own, in his lap.

‘I’m listening,’ Hinata said.

‘It won’t be easy.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Karasuno won’t like it. Seijoh won’t either. They’ll put pressure on us.’

Hinata considered Oikawa’s words.

‘Think about it, chibi-chan. Your whole team will probably tell you to leave me. All the time. Every day. And Kageyama… won’t stop. He’ll keep trying. It might be… too much for you. Or too much for me, if you  -’

‘If I?’

Oikawa swallowed, reluctant. ‘Fall for Kageyama.’

Hinata stared at their hands, thinking.

‘I fear the same thing,’ Hinata said, bringing his eyes up to meet the setter’s.

‘Fear what?’

‘You falling for someone else. It’s what I’ve feared the most this entire week. I couldn’t stop my brain giving me images of you -’ Hinata turned a deep red and dropped his gaze. ‘I know you worry about me with Kageyama but I worry about you with… everyone. You’re better looking than me. It wouldn’t be hard for you to get someone. The whole of Aoba Johsai are probably at your feet. It would be too much for me too, if you,’ Hinata met Oikawa’s eyes again. ‘Fell for someone else. I almost lost my mind this week thinking that had happened. You’re right about what you said. Some things are out of our control. I can’t stop girls approaching you at school and you can’t stop Kageyama going to Karasuno. But.’

‘But?’

‘But I can trust everything you’ve said and done, and you can trust everything I’ve said and done too. I know you would never try to hurt me and you know I would never try to hurt you. So we’re going to have to go on trust. Otherwise… how does anyone ever get together if they’re constantly in fear of losing that person to someone else?’

There it is, Oikawa half-grinned, that brilliant outlook on life.

‘So you’re saying we shouldn’t get together because we might fall for someone else,’ Hinata continued, thinking out loud, ‘but what if we never do fall for someone else? Then we’ve just wasted all the time we could’ve been together -’

Oikawa’s lips met with Hinata’s neck. By now the setter had figured, it was one of Hinata’s erogenous zones. Yep. Oikawa heard the spiker gasp, felt the grip on his hands tighten. Oikawa withdrew and got a kick out of those alarmed, aroused eyes.

‘You are completely and utterly correct,’ Oikawa smirked, ‘but still, chibi-chan. I want you to go away and think about it -’

Hinata had lunged for those lips again, those lips he had yearned for and craved all week that were now here, at his beck and call. This was back and it was better than ever. All demons had been slain. The path was laid clear. There was nothing left to think about.

‘I’ve thought about it,’ Hinata said, after. ‘And I still want to be in a relationship with you.’

‘My, am I that good of a kisser?’ Oikawa smirked but his eyes were solemn. ‘Please, Shoyo. Please take time and really think about this. You’ll really be in the firing line. People older than you will be trying to convince you… I’m in my third year, I won’t have the same kind of pressure. You’re going to need a lot of strength.’

‘Well then. It’s a good thing I’ll be dating my source of strength,’ Hinata stroked Oikawa’s cheek, which had suddenly gone warm. ‘Are you blushing?’

Oikawa ignored the question. ‘Promise me you’ll think this through?’

Hinata sighed. ‘Fine. But I’m not going to change my mind.’

‘I hope not,’ Oikawa winked.

Hinata was about to dive for that mouth again when a phone started vibrating.

‘If we do start dating,’ Oikawa said, as they both fished out their phones from touching pockets, ‘remind me to always turn my phone off.’

‘When, not if,’ Hinata said, and it thrilled Oikawa to his core.

It was Hinata’s. It was his mother.

‘Oh! Hi mom! Er, no, I’m just out – oh shoot! I forgot! Sorry Natsu! I’ll be there right away!’

After apologising for forgetting to take his sister to the mall to get new sandals and ice cream, he hung up the phone. He didn’t want to leave. Not now. Not when he’d just made his greatest discovery yet and landed a landmark moment in his current relationship with Oikawa. He wanted another earthquake, another blackout – anything to keep him here  all weekend.

Tomorrow he’d promised his mom he would study –

‘Monday?’ Oikawa suggested. ‘Serving -’

‘I take it you, er, still haven’t read any of my texts?’

Oikawa shook his head, somber. ‘It was too painful. But of course I’ll read them all.’

Hinata explained the situation with his mom banning him from seeing anyone on weekday evenings.

‘But how about – your journey home?’ Oikawa suggested.

Hinata stared.

‘I could walk you home? You know we have Mondays off.’

‘But you’d – you’d have to hang around after school waiting for me to finish practice… and then come all the way to Natori…’

‘How long is it to walk to your house?’

‘About fifty five minutes.’

‘Well then.’

Hinata peered at the beautiful setter. ‘You’d come all the way to Karasuno… just to walk with me for less than an hour?’

Oikawa ruffled that fluffy hair. ‘I’m not waiting a week until I get to see you next.’

Hinata threw his arms around Oikawa in a hug.

‘Thank you,’ he whispered, teary.

‘Are you sure?’ Oikawa whispered back. ‘Karasuno will see me. Kageyama too. Unless – you want me to hide -’

‘No,’ Hinata extracted himself and shook his head. ‘They’ll know sooner or later anyway. And if we’re going to do this – yes, I know, I’ll think about it – but if we are, they’re going to have to get used to seeing us together.’

Because I’m not letting you go now that I finally have you.

‘Whatever you say, chibi-chan,’ Oikawa kissed the spiker’s cheek and Hinata responded by kissing the setter’s lips.

‘You sure? You’ll come all that way just to meet me?’

‘Shoyo,’ Oikawa said tenderly, locking eyes with him. ‘Yes. Of course. And look at you – you always come all the way out here to meet me! It’s only fair that I venture to your area every once in a while.’

‘But I have a bicycle.’

‘Then maybe I should get one too.’

Hinata kissed Oikawa again. And then a few more times.

‘If you don’t go now, I’m not going to let you leave,’ Oikawa murmured, his eyes like melted chocolate.

Hinata got up from Oikawa’s lap and pulled the setter up. Oikawa’s butt was numb from sitting in the same spot for so long.

‘How are your feet?

‘They’re fine. It was nothing compared to the broken chandelier. I’ll need to slash the soles a few more times.’

Hinata looked horrified. Oikawa laughed.

‘I’m joking, chibi-chan.’

Hinata took Oikawa’s hand and dragged the setter with him to the front door. Even while he put his trainers on, he did not let go of Oikawa’s hand. The captain sighed happily.

‘Call me later,’ Hinata looked up at the model.

‘OK.’

‘As in, tonight.’

Oikawa smiled. ‘Sure.’

‘And tomorrow.’

Oikawa chuckled. ‘OK.’

Hinata pulled Oikawa’s hand down forcefully, bringing the setter’s face closer to his own.

‘I’m going to think about it,’ Hinata said into those mesmerising eyes. ‘Because you told me to.’

‘Good.’

‘And then I’m going to get back to you. And still say yes. Because I can’t stay away from you.’

‘Then don’t -’

They kissed for the final time that Saturday, Hinata feeling like he’d gone from being crushed by a boulder to crushing fifty boulders beneath his feet.

‘I’ll see you on Monday.’

‘I’ll wait for you at the gates. And I want to walk with you alone.’

Hinata nodded. ‘So do I.’ He understood. He too didn’t want to waste a second of only fifty five minutes that he’d get with Oikawa on Monday.

Oikawa watched the spiker leave his home and collect his bike. 

One last time, they looked at each other and smiled.

Both felt it.

It was the best Saturday they had had since the blackout after the earthquake.