There was a terrifying moment of silence. A moment where all three of then were stood, facing each other and then -

‘WHY HAVE YOU NOT BEEN TAKING YOUR MEDICINE???!!!’

Oikawa was sure that if there were any birds nearby, they would’ve taken flight.

‘How long has this been there? At the back if the cupboard? I came all this way - to look after you, ma wanted you to have it, she made it and prepared it especially for you, it will help you get better - I - I - I don’t understand why you’d do this!!!’ 

‘Shoyo, you need to understand -’

‘WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND?! You aren’t eating, you haven’t been drinking the herbs. Only twice have I seen you prepare them! You’ve lost weight, you’re coughing every night - you shouldn’t be living like this! Especially when we have the antidote to make you better -’

‘And then what, Sho? Hmm? I will be another mouth to feed, another burden to the both of you -’

‘YOU’RE NOT A BURDEN!!! How could you possibly think that?!’

‘Shoyo -’

Grandma slowly freed herself from the entanglement of her chair and slowly approached Hinata. She stopped short of the boy, her expression somber. 

‘I am old. I have lived my life. I do not know how many more years I have in me to live. It could be five, ten years, who knows. But you. You and Oikawa have your whole lives ahead of you. I will not be the one to take that from you -’

‘You’re not taking that from me!’

‘Shoyo,’ Grandma gripped Hinata’s elbow of the hand now gripping the pouch. ‘Every time I eat, that’s less food for the both of you. Winter has barely hit. It has yet to snow and there is no food.’

‘Th-there is food!! There has to be food! We will find a way, we will make a way -’

‘And if there isn’t? If what I have left is all we have left, is all the food we will have for the rest of the winter then - you have a better chance of survival than I do. You must take this and live.’

‘No,’ Hinata shook his head. ‘No no no - Oikawa and I will find something. We’ll hunt something! It’s not possible for all the animals to be taken! We will travel, we will go -’

‘The roads will become more and more dangerous. You will need to steer clear of them. If you hunt food it will try and be taken from you. My dear, dear boy. I know you don’t want to hear it but this is the truth: there is not enough for all three of us to survive.’

Hinata wrenched free of Grandma’s grip. 

‘It - it’s not true!’ He shook his head vehemently, as if by shaking his head he could shake her words out of his mind. 

‘Oikawa… Oikawa can protect you. Whereas I - can’t. The two of you must eat as much as you can -’

‘I will hunt - day and night if I have to!’

‘Shoyo!’

But the boy had ran and grabbed his cloak, stuffed his boots on before Grandma could even take a few steps towards him -

Bursting out of the cottage, bow and arrow in hand, the faint cry of another ‘Shoyo!’ From Grandma in his ears - blindly, Hinata ran in the dark, the cold air filling his lungs, dead leaves crunching invisibly beneath his feet, until he stopped, breathless, somewhere and nowhere at the same time. 

Panting, in that moment, a thought suddenly bubbled up in his mind - that if he died but Grandma and Oikawa survived, that would make him happy…

Well.

She was wrong.

She had to be wrong.

Hinata would hunt, he would shoot birds in the trees with his arrow, he would shoot any living edible thing and if it came to it, he would shoot any thing for them to survive…

But right now. Out in the dark. In the cold. 

What was he doing?

He needed time to plan, to think. There had to be… another way… He would go back, agree to whatever ridiculous proposition Grandma believed, but secretly, he would plot… 

He should go back.

Guilt suddenly pricked his conscience: Grandma and Oikawa would have to create a torch, and come out in the cold to find him -

‘Hinata.’

A voice as warm as a blanket, as hot as a fire, as calming as water, reached his ears.

It came from the dark, some ten steps somewhere behind him.

‘Please come back inside.’

There was no torch, no light.

‘How did you know where I was?’ Hinata asked.

‘I ran, right after you, right behind you.’

Why did this make Hinata’s heart feel so full? So full it was almost as if his body wasn’t hungry anymore.

‘Please come back.’

The tone of begging in Oikawa’s voice made Hinata stand up and turn towards the direction of the voice. It was pitch-black, completely dark, save for a few stars dotting the night sky.

‘I can’t see you,’ Hinata said.

‘I’m holding out my hand.’

The voice was straight ahead. Hinata walked forward, his hand stretched out -

‘Keep talking,’ Hinata waved his hand around in front of him.

‘I’m not far away from you. I’m standing still so that -’

A touch.

Fingertips. 

A sudden silence.

Hinata’s fingertips had grazed Oikawa’s. 

Only for a moment.

But still.

Why was Hinata’s heart now thundering in his chest? And why was Oikawa’s breathing loud?

‘K-keep talking,’ Hinata whispered. 

‘I’m right here,’ Oikawa whispered back.

 

Again, Hinata tried, slower now, moving his hand through the air until his fingertips touched the fingertips of Oikawa’s, and he froze, savouring the feeling of Oikawa’s skin. Oikawa curled his fingers in, bringing Hinata’s fingers into his hand, before manoeuvring his hand pressed against Hinata’s palm, and intertwining his fingers with Hinata’s. 

‘Don’t let go,’ Oikawa said.

‘I won’t.’

What was wrong with him? Why was Hinata’s heart racing like he’d just seen a rabbit for the kill or as if he was the rabbit? What were these strange emotions whirling through him as Oikawa silently led him through the dark, with heavy breath, the crunch of leaves and the biting cold yet none of these fazed Shoyo -

Not if he had Oikawa by his side. 

‘Don’t worry,’ Oikawa’s voice spoke through the darkness. ‘I am an excellent navigator.’

‘I’m not worried. Not if I’m with you.’

Oikawa didn’t respond. Oh how those words shredded his heart into two, stitched it back up again, and drenched it in gold honey.

Hinata’s eyes adjusted and he could make out the faint outline of the cottage. It was hard to see these days after dark; Grandma and Oikawa would board up the windows as the evening came, to hide the cottage from any passers by. 

Silently, Oikawa guided Hinata to the front door and back into their home. They took their boots and cloaks off. Grandma was sat in that same seat, at the table, clenching and unclenching her fists in her lap, chewing on her bottom lip.

‘Shoyo -’

‘I’m - I’m sorry, Grandma,’ Hinata approached and then knelt before her.

Grandma’s eyes widened. Her fists stopped clenching. She glanced up at Oikawa, who had an unreadable expression on his face.

‘I - I don’t like what you’re saying but I understand why you’re saying that. It is best for us not to argue in such uncertain times. I shall respect your wishes. But I will still hunt. So if you still refuse to take your medicine - I will still do my best to feed us all.’

‘My dear boy,’ Grandma whispered, on the cusp of tears but she swallowed them back and kept her head held high, ‘I wish for nothing more than for all three of us to survive the winter. But if that is not so - I wish for nothing more than for you two to live and survive.’

‘It is late. You should rest.’

In silence the three of them got ready for sleep.

Oikawa quietly observed the movements and expressions of Shoyo and Grandma in those moments; he felt torn; he could see the point of view of both and did not know whose side he should take. But like Hinata, Oikawa felt a primitive indignation; there had to be a way for all three of them to survive the winter. 

Also, as uncomfortable as the outburst was, Oikawa was relieved they had had it. The build-up to this moment had been stifling and now that the family members had argued, the air felt more relaxed than tense although tension still lingered. 

As Oikawa lay his head down to sleep that night, he decided, like any wise man, to say nothing. He merely watched as Hinata lay down, a determined look on the boy’s face, obviously planning a murderous rampant rage across all animals to feed his Grandma. He expected Hinata to turn to the fire, so was surprised when - 

‘Thank you, for coming to get me.’

Hinata rested on the back of his hands on top of his pillow, but he was closer to Oikawa tonight, and the look at which he was staring at Oikawa - starry-eyed, bright, a soft smile upon his lips, and oozing with gratitude, made the wolf feel weak.

‘I-it was nothing,’ Oikawa gulped.

‘No. It wasn’t. I would’ve been completely lost in the dark, if it weren’t for you.’

Why was Oikawa sweating? Oh. Because of the fire. That was why.

‘Grandma would’ve saved you, if I wasn’t there.’

‘I don’t deserve saving. I didn’t - but you still came and got me.’

Oikawa’s features hardened. ‘What do you mean - you don’t deserve saving?’

‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘It matters to me.’

Hinata sighed, still glowing, ‘I was the one who stormed out. I was the one who made a big issue.’

‘As anyone in your situation would. Anyone who cares would’ve done the same. And anyone who cares for you would’ve gone after you.’

‘So you care for me?’

Oikawa felt the heat rise in his cheeks from the intensity of that stare and the directness of the question.

‘Do you not know?’ Oikawa whispered.

Hinata closed his eyes briefly, breathing steady, slowly, in a relaxed, sleepy state. When he opened his eyes again, Oikawa knew that he was bound.

‘I guessed so.’ Hinata replied.

‘You guessed so? I care about you more than anyone else in the entire world.’

Crack. Crackle. Pop. The fire fizzed in anticipation.

‘This isn’t something you should guess,’ Oikawa whispered, ‘it’s something you should know.’

Hinata’s cheeks were tinged pink and yet he did not look away. ‘I care about you too.’

Oikawa’s heart thudded madly in his chest. He took a deep glug of air; he had been holding in his breath without realising.

‘I also will do everything in my power,’ Hinata spoke softly, ‘to ensure that you are safe and that you survive the winter.’

That arrow lodged in Oikawa’s heart shuddered, releasing magical, warm feelings into his bloodstream, almost making his eyes water.

‘No one,’ Oikawa’s voice cracked, ‘has ever looked out for me.’

‘Well then,’ Hinata gave a small smile, ‘it’s about time. Goodnight Oikawa.’

Oikawa peered into those mesmerising eyes. Hinata didn’t turn away but stared right back.

Someone this beautiful, Oikawa said to himself, someone this precious… 

Has to survive.

‘I promise you, I will do my absolute best, to ensure you survive. I promise you, Shoyo.’

‘Then shake my hand and promise,’ Hinata extended a small hand.

Oikawa stared. A million thoughts whizzed through his mind, uncontrollable, terrible - biting Hinata’s hand to taste his delicious blood - transforming into the wolf not and satiating his hunger, eating Grandma then Hinata or instead - grabbing Hinata’s hand and pulling the boy to him to satisfy another hunger altogether - kissing Hinata, touching Hinata, licking Hinata -

Oikawa closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, he grasped Hinata’s warm, petite hand briefly, ‘I promise.’

But as he was about to let go, Hinata held on -

‘And I too promise that I will do my absolute best to make sure you live, Oikawa! Thank you for coming to get me, thank you for hunting with me, thank you - for staying with me -’

Oikawa shook his head, cheeks now flushed, feeling way, way too hot, and Shoyo had not let go of his hand, and this was getting too much; he would need to double the amount of self-control he had somehow, someway -

‘You have nothing to thank me for. I am grateful to have met such a person like yourself, who has given me faith back in humankind.’

A slight frown pinched those beautiful features on the golden boy but Oikawa slipped his hand out of grasp otherwise he would do something that he wouldn’t regret but that would make Hinata feel shocked and uncomfortable -

‘Sweet dreams, Shoyo.’ Oikawa turned his back on the ball of sunshine and forced himself to close his eyes.

‘Goodnight.’

Just touch me. Just hug me. Just do anything - 

But Oikawa’s desires were in vain this night, as they were every other night - 

Hinata tucked his hands under his pillow and stabbed his palms with his fingernails, determined, silently, to feed everyone.

And it was by this notion, that Hinata woke early, so early that the embers of the fire were still steaming, that the cracks between the boarded up windows weren’t shining daylight, but that no matter how dark or dreary or unlikely the odds were stacked against him, no matter if there was dog, or bear or beast or wolf out there - nothing would put out this white shining bright light within him, certain that he would find food. 

And so the boy ventured.

Through the forest, alone, on high alert, following the navigation of the sun on the left and the cottage behind him, venturing north. 

For hours Shoyo walked, not an animal or man in sight, through cold-stiffened leaves, the crunch of twigs beneath his feet, through the dawn of sunrise, the lure and dream of prey before him and then -

Up ahead -

Light.

A clearing, of some sort.

Green.

And sky.

What the -?

And before Hinata knew it, he had reached the end of the forest, which was upon a hill. Sky, cloud, sun were all above him and now below -

The kingdom of Cistren.

It had been years since Hinata had been to another kingdom. So long, in fact, that he could not remember the hustle and bustle of one, and the feel of a place so large. Everything now assaulted him in full force: the smell of fresh wool on a passing cart, the brush and nudges of people coming and going head-down, shuffling past, the sounds of merchants selling everything but food -

Where was food? How did these people eat?

Hinata watched the people: eyes downcast, hollow, with bags, hoods shrouding their faces, no one looking up.

He caught a snippet of a conversation -

‘Maybe we could kill the king’s dogs -’

‘Shhhhhh!! Don’t say that!’

‘Well it’s easier than those posters -’

‘Will you shut it about the posters already!’

It was only then that Hinata noticed, the large pieces of sallow parchment, nailed to what seemed like every building, every piece of wood, every where he looked -

Hinata approached. 

The top of the poster read: REWARD. This word was surrounded by images: a sack of gold spilling open, a bottle of wine, a loaf of bread, a bunch of grapes, juicy, pink and brown gammon - and the king knighting a bowed figure.

Underneath this, a huge black arrow pointed down to another drawing -  

Of a creature.

It had a man’s torso but the head and neck -

Of a wolf. 

A wolf with black spiky hair and red demon eyes.

And the whole drawing had an X through it.